Nothing can so greatly draw a heart near to God as mercy.

What is suffering for?

What have we to suffer for if we live under the authority of the Merciful God? Once I posed this question to an elder – I can never forget with what surprise I heard his answer: “Precisely for that reason, my friend, do we suffer: because God is merciful. At that time I was nearly indignant because of his answer. But now I say, “Yes, it is so!” I hear an objection: others consider that it is an unbearable paradox that suffering and sorrow in this life have as their origin Divine Mercy.

It is difficult to reconcile this idea with children living in the tuberculosis ward. From the outside one might think that these buildings, located deep within a forest, could be a health camp for children. The children are of many different ages – from the youngest still nursing to the oldest, adult students. There is a school of general education which occupies the third floor. This is where children study, because for many of them, they will be here receiving treatment for years.

The first thing done with God’s help and the support of the Sisterhood was to install a small iconostasis and closet with spiritual literature. It must be noted that the administration and medical personnel provide assistance in everything: they ready the children for prayer services, bring them holy water and bread in the morning before breakfast, presents at Pascha and Christmas, books from the library. The prayers are always followed by confession. The young people, not knowing what to say, nervously crowd around the makeshift lectern – a bread table. Everything is very symbolic – a sign hangs above the table which reads “BREAD”. The priest explains it in God’s way: the letters of the Russian word “BREAD” can stand for “CHRIST LOVE IS GOD”. The Sacrament is performed here in the morning and children taste the Divine Bread and Blood. Somebody may be quickly healed or parents may suddenly appear (such has happened!) to take them home, rather than to give over to the orphanage. In his place, a new sick child will come, sometimes unbaptised who, perhaps, will soon receive the Mystery of Baptism.

Nastya: A small ward, a comfortable crib. A little girl sleeps peacefully in it. The imported crib and toys will hardly be a substitute to the child for the warmth of parents. The child’s mother has lost her parental rights; once the girl is healthy she will be sent to the orphanage.

Vitalik and Sasha: Both infants suffer from serious defects of the Central Nervous System due to tuberculosis. Sasha is blind, deaf and dumb and suffers from hydrocephaly. Vitalik is deaf. But mostly, from time to time, their little faces are distorted by sufferings, they scream and their eyes are full of tears. Pain killers do not spare them headaches. Both are orphans. Once they are released from the hospital, they will enter the boarding home.

Stasik: At first sight this quiet little one is healthy and well-fed. His outward appearance is deceiving. This little boy is sick with tuberculosis and his condition is incurable.

Liosha: The last son of a woman no longer young. His internal organs and nervous system are impaired. He has enormous stitches on his stomach. His little legs are bent not allowing him to walk, and he appears like an infant, though he is already an adolescent. But his mother loves him and hasn’t lost hope. His older brothers give her assistance. Seeing his sufferings, the heart is softened and a story comes to mind:

One little boy was immobile due to a disease as well as blind and dumb. He simply lay in bed and was sad. Once he had the thought, “What am I living for? Healthy people bring some use, but I cannot do anything; rather, people must work in order to provide for me.” He began to feel sorry for his loved ones and began to pray to God for them. Especially fervently he prayed for his father, so that he would not be berated at work. Coming home on evening, the father said, “Amazing! My boss, rather than his usual way of condemning me, suddenly offered me a promotion and a raise in salary.” Then his son smiled, “After all, I can do so much – I can pray to God!”